They call you “gated and guarded”

You built this brick wall Gated and guarded This wall surrounding your life you won’t let me in

Let me in.

All the damage you left outside for everyone to clean up

To pick up your your bits and pieces

The ruble of broken promises and memories forbidden to be spoken of

You changed what I thought my life to be.

You changed me

Let me in

You filled my life with unanswered questions and mumbled thoughts.

Prayers to God to change who you are as a person. To let me in.

Let me in.

I pray that those walls break that every hidden secret comes out and I am exposed to the truth.

Exposed to you…..

Let me in.

-S.C

I envy your new lover 

I envy your new lover

I hate the fact that she can touch your skin,the skin that once touched mine and gave me the chills.

I hate that she can kiss the lips I kissed so softly.

I hate the fact she can hold you and breathe the same air you breathe.

I envy your new lover because it is not me

I hate that can she hear the laugh that makes my ears ring because of the familiar sound,yet so distant.

I hate that she won’t know what to do when your having a mental breakdown and she should just give you a little room to breathe

I hate that she won’t know you put god,your family and your sports first because it is what keeps you sane

I hate that she may not know that your heart sounds a little irregular but there’s nothing wrong it’s just your heart.

I hate that there’s this new place in your heart for her and not for me

I envy your new lover.

I hate that she can roam her hands through your hair that the one time your aunt braided and we laughed for hours on FaceTime because you looked silly.

I hate that she’ll hold the place I held in your family,your family that once treated me like gold.Where your sister would want to be with us or your brother wanting to play catch or have me watch him play his game.

Although this may sound silly I hate that your mom may bond with her and want to do things like yoga with her and not me.

I hate that she is invited to all your family events that once had an envelope with my invitation in it.

I hate that she has you.

I envy your new lover

But I guess it’s time to admit,yes I do envy her but no I don’t wish the worst for her or the both of you. I wish nothing but happiness and love to fill your life. I envy that she’s the one brining it and not me,but I hope she fills it with compassion,full of immense  love,this love that will never leave you,like you left me.

I envy your new lover.

//S.c

If You Still Love Me, Never Let Me Know — Thought Catalog

PexelsUnless you’ve changed since we’ve parted ways, unless you’re ready to commit yourself to me in a way that you weren’t able to before, then please don’t let me know how you feel. Don’t let me know that you sit up in bed at night, wondering how I’ve been doing. Don’t let me know that you’ve…

via If You Still Love Me, Never Let Me Know — Thought Catalog

We Broke Up June 27 (But That Wasn’t When I Lost You) — Thought Catalog

Thought.isWe broke up on June 27. Kissed each other goodbye outside in the sunshine on the wide stone steps, and everything felt okay. In that moment, numb, existing slowly and muted together under dark water the way we had been, we could never have predicted the years of heavy, rampant heartbreak that would follow. But…

via We Broke Up June 27 (But That Wasn’t When I Lost You) — Thought Catalog

We Won’t Always End Up With Our Soulmates (And Maybe That’s A Good Thing) — Thought Catalog

natikI started to believe in soulmates when I met him. You know, him. The one who changed it all for me. The one who came into my life and who shifted it. My ‘one’. I never used to want to believe in soulmates. I saw marriages and relationships fall apart and crumble without warning. I saw…

via We Won’t Always End Up With Our Soulmates (And Maybe That’s A Good Thing) — Thought Catalog

The Truth About Why He Won’t Love You Back — Thought Catalog

@davidwongIt’s not because you’re too skinny or too fat, it’s not because of your height or what size waist you have. It’s not because you’re not funny or because of how raspy your voice is. It’s nothing with your appearance or your personality. It’s none of those things. It’s not because of anything you are…

via The Truth About Why He Won’t Love You Back — Thought Catalog